


A Final Send-Off

by ExistentialMalaises



Series: The Rise And Fall [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Making Love, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Sweet/Hot, female pleasure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-02 17:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11513742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExistentialMalaises/pseuds/ExistentialMalaises
Summary: With only a few days before James is shipped off to England to fight the war, [Y/N] wants to give him a meaningful farewell.





	A Final Send-Off

**Author's Note:**

> Have I ever written this much smut? I’m not quite sure. This story is part 3 of “The Rise And Fall” series. For more context, the chronological order and a link to the other stories, please check out the series.

With a crack the door to [Y/N]’s tenement house opened and she stepped outside, standing on the dark stone staircase that was connected to the streets of Brooklyn. Cheerful noises of young children, playing hopscotch and double-dutching, wafted through the air. Her pa was seated a couple of steps beneath [Y/N]. He was reading a newspaper with a cold beer in-between his legs. It was his way to relax after a long and arduous week at the steel mill. Unlike most workers there, with the use of his big brain, he had managed to somewhat work himself up to a job that meant slightly less manual labor… but it was still manual and it was still labor, so these were his quiet moments. It was quickly getting darker, and there would not be much daylight left for him to continue his reading outdoors. She would rather not interrupt him, but these were the very few moments when he would not be surrounded by her mother or her younger sister, so she had to be smart about it. She had to be smart about the talk she was going to start up. 

“Pa, could we talk?” He was startled for a moment, but then looked up at his daughter, dread crossed his mind, and he folded the newspaper and placed it on his legs. 

“Those are words a father never wants to hear his child say.” He finally said as he gestured for her to sit down next to him on the staircase.

“Oh, don't be dramatic, pa.” She smiled, sat down and straightened the streaks that formed in her skirt. 

He grabbed the beer from between his legs, “I'll try not to. What is it, sweetheart?” 

“James will be going off to war soon. Come Sunday in fact… and I wondered…” She started. Her pa took a sip of his beer and made no attempt to either halt or further the conversation so she continued of her own volition. “...If I could spend the night at his place.” She could have lied and told her parents she would be staying at her girlfriend’s, but her parents knew when James would be shipped off. They could put two and two together. Honesty was a safer bet in the long run… for this, anyways. 

He was quiet for a moment, “Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that.” 

She remained quiet. 

“Why?” He asked. 

She pulled up her legs and hugged them, “He works almost everyday from early in the morning until late in the evening. I never get to see him for long, because if he isn't too tired to see me, you and ma don't allow it because it's too dark out.” 

“Right.. right…” Her father took another sip of the beer. 

“So I was hoping… that just this once, and because he's going off to war, pa… you'd bend the rules.” She could not directly look him in the eyes, but she peeked sideways to catch a glance.

“But why spend the night?” Her pa looked uncomfortable when he asked that question. “Have you two been…?” If he was uncomfortable a second ago, now it looked like he was under extreme duress. 

She turned her body towards her pa, “No! We haven't. James is very decent. He…” 

“That's not what your brother told me.” 

That jerk. Her eyes began to well up as residual anger from that day returned to her, and now having to address it again with her father of all people… it was embarrassing for the both of them. “James is far from perfect, but he _is_ a good man, pa. He would never do anything that went against my wishes. What my brother said… well, I don't know and I don't care to know. He doesn't get to judge me.” 

“Now now dear, your brother is only looking out for your best interest. And I like James, I really do, but the truth of the matter is that young men tend to have a certain mindset. When they are with pretty girls, like yourself, there's things… they want.” 

“There's also things _I_ want, pa…”

“Oh, I see.” He thought for a second. “Are we still talking about the same things?” 

She shifted awkwardly. “Yes, pa. I think so.” 

“Ah...” He put down the beer between them. “Just because you want things, it doesn't mean you should give into them. There are repercussions for our actions, and I don't just mean in the eyes of the Lord, but also more tangible ones.” 

“Yes, pa. I know.” She was not unsophisticated in the ways of men and women _together_. She had plenty of girlfriends, and they told her things. Growing up with an older brother also gave her insight into the minds of men and their exploits, no matter how much he tried to keep her away from those realities. 

“There's pregnancy and deadly diseases. Things I'm sure you don't want.” 

“Of course not.” 

“I’m not sure about this. I suppose I'll have to trust you'll do the right thing … or I could have you chained to your bed. I'm not sure which one I'm most comfortable with. Is that distressing?” He smiled but gave her a stern look. She nodded her head in understanding. She was not expecting him to give her permission to partake in sexual intercourse, but then… she was not asking permission for _that_. 

“Thank you for trusting me.” She leaned towards her father to give him a hug, and he quickly removed the beer between them so it would not fall down. “I love you, pa.” 

“Mhmm, now you do. Don't misuse it, and remember what I always taught you.” He unfolded the newspaper again after she got up.

“To always use my brain.” She beamed and went back inside.

 

——————————

 

After James left the army base in Manhattan to pick up his uniform and get his papers in order, he picked up [Y/N] from her home. He had put on his uniform already, because he might as well get used to the idea. This was really happening. He did not look half bad in it. The goodbye between himself and [Y/N]’s parents was a little stiff, but they said some nice words and wished him a safe return. All things he had expected to hear. All things that were painful to hear. What if he would not return? No, he could not think about that right now. He was with his girl. And his girl was looking good. She had gone all out, it seemed. She was wearing a red dress that was very form-fitting on top, but his attention kept being pulled to the little red belt around her waist. He could not wait to get his hands on that. 

The afternoon was spent with his parents. They tried to treat it like any other day, to keep their spirits up, but there was this constant looming darkness… this sadness. He felt it. He saw it on their faces. It was hard to push away. But his ma made his favorite meal (what he considered his favorite meal during the rationing): Scallopini of veal, mashed potatoes and Hubbard squash, then sponge cake for dessert and coffee. It was delicious, and when he thanked her she almost bursted out in tears. Distracting herself, his ma found his photo album and showed it to [Y/N] and his sister. It was embarrassing, but they all seemed to enjoy it, so he let them titter and laugh. It was hard to come face to face with his childhood, with his past, since tomorrow he would be stepping into an uncertain future, but there was nothing he could do about that. After dinner and the mortifying chats about James and little James of little James, he wished his parents a good night. Before James and [Y/N] left for the Stark exposition though, his pop and he had a man-to-man, since he also served in the war, so there were some words of wisdom he wanted to instill onto his son. It was a tough conversation to have, but they managed. 

The short while they spent at the Stark exposition with Steve and [Y/N]’s girlfriend were a bit more comforting for the most part. Not all of it, though, because Steve had to be a pigheaded punk and remind James again of what he had to deal with the next day. All he wanted was one day, one night, not to have to think about that, but they got into a fight. Steve and James finally had it out about Steve’s unrelenting desire to join a death squad. At least they said goodbye on good terms. He would miss that scrawny kid. The evening ended after a couple of dances with [Y/N] and her girlfriend, when she had to leave so she would not be home too late. After dropping the girl off, James glanced at his watch. It was getting late, and he had hoped to have spend more alone-time with [Y/N]. She was staring out of the car window. She looked distracted. He would make a better distraction. 

“You good over there, doll?” He placed his hand on her knee. She looked down at it, then to him. 

“I’m fine, James. It’s just been a long day. We got to do a lot. Are you happy?” 

“I’m always happy when I’m with you…” He stroked her knee, and she turned her body towards him. 

She tried not to look too dejected when she said, “I’m gonna miss you, you know.” 

“Hell, I’m not sure what I’m gonna do without ya.” 

“You’re gonna stay safe, that’s what you are. Promise?”

“I promise.” He pecked her on the lips. “Promise you’ll wait for me?”

She nodded her head fervently and looked down as tears began to form in her eyes, “Of course.”

“Good. Then I know I’ll be safe. I’ll do whatever I can to make it back to you.” He lifted her chin, and tentatively brushed his lips over hers. There was a sense of urgency to his kiss, and she allowed him in at once, her hand slid over his arm to rest in his neck. He softly pressed his fingers into her knees, and it kind of tickled her. She giggled, and he broke their kiss. His voice had grown hoarse, “What time d’ya have to get back? What about a pitstop before I drive you home?” His hand glided up her legs to her inner thighs. 

She looked from his hand to the smirk on his face, “Or you just take me back to your place for the night?” That got rid of his smirk quickly, and it felt like a victory to her, so she pushed away the sadness. This would be beautiful, not sad. 

“ _My_ place? But what about your parents? Won't they notice when you’re not home?” He raised his eyebrow.

She remained coy, “I've taken care of it.” 

His interest was piqued, “Taken care of it? How'd ya swing that?” 

“I'm persuasive.” She raised her shoulders demurely. 

“You… are many things. Exceptional things.” He leaned towards her for a peck on the lips, grinned, then turned on the engine and drove back to his place. When they arrived at his doorstep, he quietly turned the key in the hole and opened the door. The lights were still on in the family room, but there was no one around, so James signaled [Y/N] to come along with him. Tiptoeing, which was hard to do in heels, they walked towards his bedroom when his pa walked out of the kitchen and into the family room with a beer in his hand and a look of surprise on his face. 

“Uhhh, pops.” James cleared his throat.

“Son.”

“Ma around?” He asked and his father pointed upwards. “Good.” He turned to [Y/N] and mumbled she should go to his bedroom without him. That he would have a word with his pops for a minute. This was not the getting-caught-by-your-brother kind of embarrassing, but it was safe to say that she was blushing like a tomato. 

“[Y/N].” James’ pa greeted her. 

“Mr. Barnes.” She whispered and wanted to wither away. 

After she closed the door to his bedroom, James walked up to his pops. “Well, this is kinda awkward.”

His father chuckled and took a swig of his beer. 

“Ma’s asleep?” James inquired after his mother again, and pops nodded.

“Alright. Good night.” James made to move away when his pops spoke.

“Remember to be gentle. The experience is not the same for girls.” 

James turned around to his father again with a raised eyebrow, “Pops, please. No need to have _that_ talk again.” 

“Yeah, alright. What about rubber?” 

“Couldn't hurt.” James shrugged. 

“First-aid kit in the bathroom. The one hidden away in the medicine cabinet, to the left.” 

“First-aid kit? Really, pops?” Now his father shrugged, then walked up the stairs. 

[Y/N] had set her purse down on his desk, then picked it up again to remove the one wrapper she had with her. She put the purse back down and started pacing. She could not believe they ran into his pa like that. What would he not be thinking. He obviously knew what they were up to. He had to know. This was embarrassing. Humiliating. If only they had more privacy… but this was not the kind of thing she wanted to do in the backseat of his car… or in laundry rooms. This was not to be rushed in the shadows, but meant to be preserved under comforting circumstances. Not that she felt comfortable now. The door to his bedroom opened, and she stopped pacing. With raised eyebrows, she observed James walking in with a small smile on his face. 

He closed the door, “Sorry about that.”

“Your pa… he…” She started to burn up again at the thought.

He stepped closer, removed his shoes and socks, then took off his jacket, and placed it over her coat on his desk chair. “We’re good, don’t worry about it.”

She really did not want to worry about it. There was no point to it. She was here. His pa knew. In the morning his ma would know too. And then he would leave. There was nothing to change all that. So she focused on what she did have control over. “I… brought this.” She showed the wrapper hesitantly, and he grinned. “Nancy still had one lying around… from a _friend_.” 

“I always carry one on me.” He took out his wallet and handed it to her. She saw the wrapper that was placed inside of it.

“Thought you’d get lucky someday?” She smiled, but shook her head.

“Pops taught me to be prepared. You never know. And I just got some more.” He removed a handful of wrappers from the pocket of his pants, and her mouth fell open. 

“That many?” She tried not to sound alarmed. 

“I don't plan on sleeping tonight.” He walked up to her, placed the wrappers on his bedside table, and brushed her hair behind her ears. “I'm not wasting any time. You good with that?” He caressed her cheek and she leaned into his hand, subtly nodding her head. “Good.” A loving smile lingered on his lips, before he bent down to kiss her slowly, deeply, maddeningly. 

The softness of his touch made her go weak at the knees. She was expecting to feel his hunger, but the way he took his time cherishing her mouth, his hands only focusing on her face… it was something else. They remained there quietly, relishing in the intoxicating sensations that were increasing and spreading through their bodies, as their lips drank in each other’s love. 

When their lips parted, he took back a small step and looked down at his girl as he towered over her. Her eyes were needy. Her lips were sweet. Her chest contained a faint blush. He was going to take his time. His hands slid down from her cheeks to her neck. She shivered. Then he dragged them down her shoulders and caressed the side of her breasts. She sucked in her breath. He grazed his nails over her waist until he reached her thin belt. He opened it, and placed it on his desk, and she began to unbutton her dress. “Wait. I’d like to undress you.” She dropped her arms to her sides again, and he returned to her to unfasten her dress from the bottom button until it barely held her breasts together at the top. Just like the last button, he was ready to pop. But tonight he would be patient. Slow. Sweet. He dropped her red dress to her feet, and gazed appreciatively at the white slip she was wearing underneath. She had chosen interesting colors, he thought as a grin appeared on his face.

“What are you smiling for?” She spoke up and he looked her in the eyes again.

“Nothing.” He brushed his lips over her mouth, lingering there, breathing in her want, while his hand gently pulled the slip up her body then over her head. His hands made work of her garter belt and he untied then removed her black nylon stockings, before he finally got to the good stuff. 

He grinned again. “Ok, what is it?” She was starting to grow self-conscious under his quiet gaze and strange smiles. 

Their eyes met, “You’re wearing a lot more undergarments underneath your dress this time. It’s like you wanted me to unwrap you.” 

She gave him a little shove against his chest, “I _wanted_ to look good for you.” 

“Oh, you always do.” He drew her into his arms with a chuckle and pressed their lips together. 

She felt him wake up against her hip when their kiss deepened and their breathing took up a quicker pace. It only stirred a nagging ache between her own legs. His hands moved up her back, and after a bit of fumbling he unclasped her brassiere and dragged the straps over her shoulders only to drop it on the floor on top of her other garments. 

“It’s just that normally you wear a lot less… it’s almost like you _also_ come prepared.” He grinned again for turning his words against her. She ignored his comment. Of course she came prepared, otherwise half of their sparse time together would be spent on just undressing and dressing. Though there certainly was an appeal to that, she preferred passing the time more efficiently. 

“Time to take off your clothes.” She tugged his shirt out of his pants, but he grabbed her wrists and raised them to his mouth for a peck. 

“In a minute.” He placed her arms behind her back and held on to her wrists with one hand while his wetted lips traveled to her neck. He lingered there for a moment, taking in her subtle perfume, then placed warm kisses all over her skin. Her breathing became deeper. The dull ache inside of her was inflamed with each new brush of his lips, and when his tongue licked all the way down to her shoulder a moan finally escaped her lips. He nibbled there, and moved back inwards towards her neck with just his teeth and tongue. She struggled a little against his hand, needing to caress him too, but his grip on her only tightened. When he was done with one side of her neck, he moved to the other to continue whetting her already-growing appetite. Her moans became longer and her breathing shallower when he moved down to her exposed breasts. With his hand he massaged them, and with his mouth he sucked on them until her body felt overly stimulated, and she wriggled against his grip again. 

“James…” She pleaded. 

His head lowered down to her bellybutton and he finally let go of her wrists. She held onto him then and there, her fingers disappearing into his soft hair, tugging gently, while his fingers moved to the hem of her underwear. He had reached the ultimate layer of her clothing. Only one more piece of fabric that distanced him from her heat, and he could already detect that she was ready for him. That nagging growth of lust had become unbearable, and she needed release. As the underwear slowly lowered, so did his lips, and when the garment dropped to the floor, his mouth was immersed in her carnal fluids. He languidly sipped on her, nipping and tasting, and her body curved, seeking more pleasure. When he entered a finger inside of her and began to rub her from the inside, she almost toppled over. 

“I-I can’t stand like this.” She was already out of breath. 

He stood up, licked his finger while he held her gaze, and then removed his shirt. She blew out some air, and along with it some tension his action gave her. James gestured to his bed, and she removed her shoes then sat down a bit self-consciously. 

He unbuttoned his pants and bent down to kiss her on his bed, “I’ve never had you on a bed before… I’ve so many… ideas.” 

“Ideas?” She scooted backwards until she reached his headboard. 

“Hm, you’ve no idea how often I mulled them over in my head. At night. In bed. In the morning. In the shower.” He leaned down to trace his mouth over her legs to her knees.

She sighed, “Tell me. I want to know.”

He placed featherlight kisses on her thighs, then there was the blatant disregard of what laid in-between, long licks up her belly to her breast, and a bite in her neck. She whimpered, and he faced her again. “One of them is your lips on my dick-”

“James…” She put her hand over his mouth, and he licked the palm so she let go at once. It tickled. 

James continued, “on my dick and with my lips on your… cunt.” Her mouth fell open in astonishment. No one ever used that word. He was so unbelievably crude. “Yes, like that, hold them open.” He pretended to unzip his pants, and she laughed in shock and pulled him on her lips. 

She shook her head after she broke their kiss, “How did I end up with you, huh?” 

“Ya got lucky.” He grinned as he squeezed her breast, lowering his head again.

But she tugged him up by the hair and he faced her, “You’re so full of yourself.” 

“It’s because I feel lucky... with you.”

“Hm, good answer.” She pushed his body next to her, then climbed on top of him. Bringing their lips together once again, she pressed her figure on his and sat down half on his pants and half on his stomach. His arms slithered around her back, to her bottom, where he curved his hands around her and pushed a little harder. 

“Wet.” He stated when he felt her moisture spreading all over his belly, and she smiled against his lips, then shook her head from side to side. She took a hold of his arms and placed them next to his head. He smirked and rested his head on top of his arms. Of course, he would make himself comfortable like that. She rolled her hips against him, eliciting a moan from him, and he bit his bottom lip. 

Pushing herself up a little, she caressed her breast and he gazed at the touch. She hovered on top of him and held her breast closer to his face. “You want it?” She whispered, and he nodded, lifting his head to get closer and his tongue peeking out of his mouth, but she pulled back. “Too bad.” There was a look of surprise on his face. They exchanged quiet smiles, and he dragged her head down for a rough kiss. She freed herself from his grasp, and returned his hands back next to his head, exclaiming her disapproval with the shake of her head and James’ eyes clouded over with dire need.

She worked her way down his body, leaving behind a series of moist kisses and hard nibs marking his skin from his neck down to his v-cut abs, and he tried not to twist and turn as she made breathing harder for him. The sight of his muscles flexing when her nails grazed over his stomach to the zipper of his pants was… stimulating, and the thought of how she would bring him pleasure was entirely enticing. She removed his pants and boxers, and James tried to stay in place for her. Not even touching her once. She lied back down next to him, and her nails scraped over his legs, from his outer thighs to his inner, down to his knees, then back up to his stomach. Goosebumps appeared all over.

“Are ya gonna keep doing that for long?” He was growing impatient, and she shrugged. 

“Hm, just testing… how long I can make you squirm like this.” Her hand went down his legs again, barely missing what was longing to be touched. 

He sighed, his frustration increasing. “And what if I just take what I want?” 

“I’ll have to punish you.” They both laughed when she said that. 

“I don’t think I’d mind that.” James chuckled again, and pulled her in for a sloppy kiss. Letting herself get lost in the kiss for a moment, she leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, but when he began to move her body on top of his again, she snapped herself out of it. 

“Hey!” She pointed her finger at his chest and he let go of her with a groan. “Ok, good. So what about that idea of yours?”

“My idea?” He raised an eyebrow. 

Her hand went to his inner thigh again, “The one you think about… in your bed and in the shower, you pervert.” He laughed at her words. 

“What about it?” He tried his hardest not to touch her. 

“How does it work?” She nibbled on her lip, and he wanted to kiss her again, but she pushed him down immediately. 

Another groan, “Ok, fine. You sit on top of me.” 

“I can do that.” She sat up straight and prepared to straddle him, when he interrupted her thought-process.

“The other way around.” 

“What?” She looked at him with big eyes. 

“Turn around.” He made a twirling motion with his finger, and she shook her head fervently. “Come on.” She bit her lip, thinking this over, then shook her head again. “You’ll like it, I promise.” 

“You don’t know that.” She crossed her arms, and his vision lowered to her breasts, which made his dick twitch. 

“I do. I’ll make sure of it. You trust me, right?” Well, snap. She did. She turned around hesitantly, then straddled his stomach. Her face already was two shades redder when she turned her head towards him. He was admiring her bottom, his hands trailing over her legs, and she could feel herself heating up even more. “Come closer. It’s a beautiful view.” He smirked, and when she tried to do as he said, he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her towards his face.

“Wait, James…” But his face already disappeared in-between her legs, and she fell forward on his hips when their lips connected. She whimpered, because she had to stifle a moan. His wet touch was so comforting and familiar, even if it was under such new circumstances. It took her a full minute before she was able to recollect herself, and her moans had escaped in the meantime. The noises of his tongue smacking against her folds and nub carried through his bedroom, and she hoped no one was around to hear it. He interweaved his arms under her legs and held on to her bottom, so he could keep her in place and open her up for him. He easily picked up the pace from where he had left it off earlier when he almost had her toppling over. She tried to calm herself, but found it became harder by the minute, so she focused on something else instead. On him. As she leaned on one hand, the other began to palm him. She heard a sound of approval coming from behind her, and when he lifted his hips closer to her face, she wetted her lips and coaxed him into her mouth. For a moment all his actions ceased, and she felt his heavy hot breath on her groin as she hollowed her cheeks. 

“ _Ahhh_ , [Y/N]. Just like that.” She felt the vibrations of his words on her skin, and she instinctively tried to make contact. He tightened his hold on her and resumed all action. She began to focus on the top of his dick when it was too hard for her to breathe, moan, and take him in completely at the same time. Quick and fast bobs of her head while her lips wrapped around him tightly. The top she could do, because it allowed shallow breaths. And the way he was devouring her… all she had in her right now were quick and shallow breaths. When he began to apply suction again, savoring every bit of her, she was no longer able to even do that. All of her attention was spent on not crying out too loudly for him, as her breathing sped up even more, that sweet agony spread through her body, and she came undone. She trembled against his face and she rested her head on his hips, trying to catch her breath, and he kept her in place as he eased her through it with soft kisses. 

He began to turn her body around, and she finally lifted herself off of him. “Wait, I still need to…”

“No, it’s fine. You don’t have to. I really wanna be… inside of you. I wanna come inside of you.” He said and pulled her into his embrace for a soothing kiss. “Is that ok?” She nodded her head gently, and he brushed his lips against hers, their breaths intermingling. “You’re sure about this?” He moved the locks of hair away from her eyes.

“I'm sure.” She said, and he connected their lips once more. 

His hand lowered to her chin, “You're not afraid?” 

“Maybe a little, but this is what I want.” 

“Then I won't be afraid either.” He distanced himself from her and turned to his bedside table. She lied down on her back, still trying to catch her breath, as she watched his sudden movements. He opened the drawer and after some rummaging he turned back around. He was holding a small grey box in his hand, and inside was a simple silver engagement ring. Her eyes grew big, and butterflies took hold of her body. “I was saving this. It belonged to my grandmother. I wasn't sure when to give it to you, but I knew I wanted it to be you. I've known for a long time now. I'm sorry I didn't make it more special, but since you're giving me something that I know is… tremendously meaningful… something you wouldn’t give to anyone else, I wanna be able to do the same.” He cleared his throat, and his face hovered only inches away from hers. “[Y/N], my one and only sweetheart. I adore you.” He smiled at the cheese that was coming out of his mouth, but she paid it no heed. It was everything she had wanted to hear. “You’ve made such a difference in my world, and I meant it when I said I feel lucky because of you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, and I really don’t want to. Would ya… make an honest man outta me?” She smiled at his wording and tears began to fall down her cheek. This was more than she could have hoped for. Their last night together was already perfect, and it would go down as her most cherished memory. She was certain of it. 

“I love you, James. I would. I will.” She whispered and he beamed from ear to ear, placed the ring on her finger, and kissed her fiercely. “Make an honest man… _outta you_? I’m in for a challenge.” She laughed through her tears.

He grinned and wiped them away, “You really are.” 

They quieted down and gazed at one another lovingly, his eyes held so much emotion in them, and even if he usually kid around, she knew that she could count on him when it mattered. He had proved that over and over. He showed that right now. “Grab a rubber, James.” She gestured her head back to the bedside table, and he showed her what he was holding in his other hand. She laughed. Of course he had already grabbed one. Like he knew what she was thinking, he grinned again and lied down on top of her, leaning on his arms so he would not squash her, and placing kisses all over her face and in her neck to sooth her nerves. 

He handed her the wrapper, “Could you open it? Be careful not to tear it.” She accepted it prudently, and slowly split the packaging in two while he pumped himself in his hand momentarily, kissing her breasts. “ _Hmm_.” He murmured as he grew harder in his hand again. “You got it? Alright, I’ll take it.” He placed the rubber on his dick and rolled it out, taking a hold of himself at the base, and pressed himself against her sensitive clit. “You good?” He eyed her heedfully, and she inclined her head, so he lowered his dick, briefly going up and down her folds so she could get acquainted with him, then he found her center. He could already feel the pull inside, and he steadied his breathing. 

Her own breathing became a little deeper, and she tried to calm herself as best as she could, given the circumstances. She was a bit worried about how he would feel inside of her. Two fingers she was used to, but the male organ was much bigger than two fingers. At least James’ was. He bent down to kiss her softly, showering her with the warmth and love of his mouth, then she felt him sinking into her slowly and she breathed out. He dipped in and out with the tip, and she felt pressure. More pressure than when it was just his fingers. His tongue found hers and he intensified the kiss, moaning into her mouth when he sank in deeper. “Ahhh.” She gasped when he stretched her out more, and her arms flew around his neck, her nails digging into his skin. 

“Want me to stop?” He asked, and she shook her head.

Trying not to hold in her breath, she spoke. “No, please don’t stop.” She knew the discomfort would pass. Her girlfriends had told her so. She, too, was prepared. James was right about that. 

Connecting their lips once more, he moved out of her an inch and slowly began sinking into her deeper, and deeper, until he was buried inside of her completely. She breathed through the discomfort, and when he was seated inside of her she nodded to him again, and he began to move. It was slow, it was still careful, but the tenderness receded with each new time he entered her. It no longer felt like being stretched out, but like being filled up. Like this was how they were supposed to be, together and complete. After a couple of thrusts her body began to move along with him of her own accord, and that was when his self-determination began to seep away. He stopped kissing her and dropped his head in her neck, his mouth breathing out harshly underneath her ear. His ragged breaths and soft groans were some of the most sensuous sounds she had ever heard, and she wrapped her legs around his hips, pushing him in even deeper. He groaned out, and picked up the pace. She tried not to cry out, she really did not want anyone to hear her, and the way the bed was creaking with each ensuing movement already gave away too much, but she had to let go a little bit, because this… this feeling of being filled up she could not suppress. 

She tugged James’ head, hoping kissing him would at least smother some of her noises, and he looked at her like it took all the effort in the world just to keep eye-contact. She lifted her chin and he leaned down, pressing his parted lips fervently on hers, his tongue searching for her at once. He interlaced their fingers, and she bucked against him harder. He groaned harshly with half-lidded eyes. “I’m not gonna last…” Sweat was dripping down his forehead. “You feel too good.” James panted. “Way... too... good.” His unapologetic need for her sent shudders through her body. As their movements became harder, the resonance of a creaking bed, smothered cries and smacking bodies drifted through the air until his figure trembled then stiffened, and he let his head fall down in her neck again with a groan from deep in his throat.

She slackened her legs while he laid on top of her, pressing her down with all his weight, and she could feel his heartbeat thudding against her chest. It was racing. He was breathless. So this was what it felt like. This was what her best friend had been going into raptures about. She understood it now, but her girlfriend failed to mention how… intimate… it would be. How she suddenly felt deeply connected to James now… if only he would get off of her. “James, are you alive?” She heard him chuckling in her neck, and he raised himself up on his arm, and she could breath properly again. 

“Barely.” He smiled at her then pecked her lips slowly, nibbling on her bottom lip, before he deepened the kiss. She pulled him further into the kiss. She wanted to savor this. She wanted to remember his every touch, every kiss, every thrust. 

“How are you, doll?” He asked once their kissing slowed down. 

“I’m happy.” She smiled and he returned his mouth on hers. 

He looked away briefly, “I’m sorry I couldn’t last longer.”

“That’s fine. It was amazing...” She caressed his cheek.

“More than amazing. I don’t ever want to stop doing this, [Y/N]. Being inside of you... it…” His voice faltered. He needed this moment with her more than he had realized, but now that he had it… He was afraid that not having it anymore might finish him. So he was going to relish in it, he was going to drag it out, he was going to sink his teeth into every part of her being so he would remember all of her, and the way she made him feel tonight. 

[Y/N] could not stop touching him. James seemed absorbed in thoughts. Maybe he was looking for the right words, but there was a look… like he was overcome with a painful awareness. She understood this, because she had it too. She moved the hair out of his face and she tried to find his eyes again, “We’ve still got the rest of the night.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed the story, please give it some kudos and a comment. I'd love nothing more than to read your thoughts :)  
> Thank you for reading!


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